I just want to take the time to say THANK YOU to my fellow friend bloggers for your support, likes & following my posts & or blogs!! It’s a huge complement to me! So thank you again!! Diane 🙂
THIS IN NO SHAPE OR FORM OF A SELF THROWN PITY PARTY, Nor do i want any pity, It’s just a realization. I was thinking recently & reading fellow bloggers posts. This made me think, yes LOL ~ I sometimes think, but try to do so as little as possible,,, Anyway, I’m hearing from/reading that others living with mental illness want their life back or they want to return to their lives prior to before their mental illness diagnosis.
I can’t really say that because I have no recollection of that time. I can remember back to when I was 2½ years old ~ yep, I can actually remember things from that long ago/I have a great memory. I know this is not per repeat stories from parents, as their memories are often different than my (emotional) memories.
Back to my original thoughts above. I can’t say I want my life back because even at age 2½ I suffered from SEVERE anxiety, separation anxiety, depression (at age 4½) & other symptoms of childhood bipolar (severe depression, night TERRORS, bed wetting, panic attacks, rapid talking/speech & precocious sexual actions/thoughts), HELL, I was even prescribed antidepressant & antianxiety meds (discontinued after I tried to jump out the 2nd story window), so basically I’ve never known normal.
To this day, I do not know how to be ‘normal’. I copied/copy how others around me act, I don’t have any real emotional connections (other than my Mom, daughter & grandson) but have good relationship’s with my siblings. I feel numb/inhuman. I feel like people are just being nice to me. So I really don’t want my life back, because I have no life to return to…
Iron Maiden – Can I Play With Madness: http://youtu.be/ocFxQjPeyiY
Feeling that kinda way,,,
I’m laughing at myself because hmmm,,, I’m hoping I’m doing this correctly (never did this before & I don’t know how to link a person’s blog/site)
I was nominated for a Liebster award, Thank you Zoe ~ Volatile Stability for nominating me!!!
I have 11 questions to answer:
1. Favorite music or band?:
I listen to hard rock, hair bands, classic rock, & some metal (not extreme) I have to say my favorite band of all time is KISS
2. If could hop on a plane right now, where would I go on a vacation?:
Without question Australia/New Zealand!! My only worry ~ I wouldn’t want to leave, my ass is staying down there!!
3. What’s my favorite food/dish?:
I love fresh veggies, so I’m going to say salad (no olives!!!)
4. If I could be reincarnated what animal would I choose?:
I’ve said this for MANY years, a spoiled indoor kitty-kitty >^•^< mew! ~ I would be lazy, sleep a lot, nice & comfortable all year long & I'm the 'boss' of the house ~ I OWN my people!
5. My ideal home?:
Hmmm,,, one with walls & doors ~ what!?! I'm a smartass!! 😉 LOL!
6. Last emoticon I used?:
I think a winking smiley face
7. Silliest joke??:
You had to ask me that, I can't think of one right now, but I make a joke out of everything ~ I'm a silly girlie!
8. Name three things that make me happy?:
a)My daughter & grandson, b) summer time ~ sunshine, flip flops, shorty shorts/mini skirts & spaghetti strap tops, c) my sister & me going out to see our local rock band friends/friends & dancing
9. Song that describes my mood right now?:
Can I play with madness (Iron Maiden) my mind is electric right now.
10. A book I'd never give up?:
11. Color (s) that bring me peace?:
Pastel blues, green, yellow, lavender.
Again, thank you for the nomination Zoe Volatile Stability!! 🙂
Inside my mind, I have a manic mouse dancing without music, with a crack head squirrel riding shotgun! LOL! 🙂
This is a GREAT FREE mood tracking APP for android phones available from Google Play. It has very descriptive mood tracking, medication lists (including med changes & side effects), section to record if you used alcohol, tabacco or illicit (street) drugs, lifestyle (exercise/health), mood history & ability to print record for your healthcare provider, etc,,,
I didn’t write yesterday due to ongoing insomnia (2½-3 hrs sleep nightly lately at MOST,,, WTF!?!) MY trazadone isn’t helping @ 50 mg spoke with Dr B’s nurse (Amy) regarding bumping up to 100 mg bedtime (I took100 mg in the past & it helped.) I also have moderate/severe nausea for 2 hrs after my morning meds ~ I hate nausea with a passion (as we all do). I’m hoping, which I think it is, temporary, as it was in the past. My mood seems to be slowly stabilizing some, I’m not as anxious & not feeling as ready to kill. We shall see how quickly my side effects decrease & hopefully my mood continues to stabilize (SOON please),,, although it’s hard, I’m trying to be positive.