AUGUST 20 2015

So, much awaited (office rescheduled from the 3rd) Pdoc appointment  yesterday. I wanted & did tell him about my (long history of, but) increased trippy feelings (almost exactly like when I did psychedelics in my teens) feeling ‘not there’, warped reality, a warm ‘melty’ feeling, soft massage’y’ sensation inside my skull, everything else intensely HILARIOUS sometimes shooting to terrifying/paranoid in a split second, etc,,,He responded surprised, ‘wow’ taken aback,,, & my continued almost constant anxiety. I told him of anxiety laced with rage & fear & intensity & anger. Rage felt when reeking of bad street drugs. Nightmare walking. Reviewed my meds Lamictal 150mg 2/day, Lithium 450mg 2/day, he tried 300mg increase 5½ weeks ago because of my symptoms, but my Lithium levels were 1.5 (therapeutic 0.6- 1.2) so that was a no go. I’ve been on a newer SNRI – Brintellix 20mg for 6+ months. Dr B said he’s been getting feed back from patients & researching that this med can cause increased anxiety, other side effects. We talked about the fact that it IS helping my depression overall, that we could decrease the dose,,, & i’m going to continue with the same cocktail but I’m gonna try to take my alprazolam 0.5mg 3 times (up to 4) daily since until now I almost always take 2 daily. Wants to see me in 4 weeks & call before if I need to. Well if I’m stuck with a bad brain/mind, at least I have a good doctor. I still wanna run away ~ from ME! OHHH NOOO!! OFFSPRING ‘GOTTA GET AWAY! (stuck in my head now)


2 thoughts on “AUGUST 20 2015

  1. Glad it went well. Does Brintellex have a side effect of making one brilliant? I want that.

    Ya know, it’s weird how if you have a bum leg or whatever and it’s hurting, people will say, “Just stay off of it, rest.” Yet when your mind is the bum hurting thing, they tell you to use it even more, mind over matter, even when your mind is the damned problem.

    I hope they get impaled by pegacorn horns then Zoe’s slicey wing design shreds them. Not that I have anger issues or anything…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ha! I. Have. A. Bum. Brain!!! Ah~haha!! Does Brintellix make you brilliant?? Ummm,,, if it does then I musta been dumber than dirty dirt before I started,,, ohhh nooo I just realized how dumb I am!!


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