OCTOBER 6 2015

Ugh,,, why can’t I get over this? Summer was half assed good to me, seriously, even with the irritable part of my hypomanic episodes. Goofing off being (fun) stupid. Felt good! Why am I staring down this scary, paranoid, depressive pit? I remember this bad, bad place. The place that especially 2010, 2011 & 2012 lived. The feeling’s been simmering for over a month, constant anxiety & terror. I shoulda known it was coming. And now, now,,, withdrawing, empty, worthless, no interest or drive in anything. Torment. && PARANOIA?!? ~ being watched, being avoided by anyone around me, talking about me,,, yes even friends on here. I feel like I did something very bad, like I’m evil. This isn’t new for me, it’s just been awhile since I’ve felt like this,,, shit doesn’t feel right in my head again. My mind scares me, really scares me.

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18 thoughts on “OCTOBER 6 2015

  1. If repeating “get over it” as a mantra worked, none of us would take the stupid meds. On my way with the camelraffe loaded down with Jager for ya…May not help depression but it’d kill the anxiety for a night. We DESERVE a good time!

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  2. We’re being watched more than most people know, so much conspiracy in America & world. It’s all bull shit! BTW that wasn’t the government listening in on your conversation, it was me. ❤

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  3. We’re all here for you. I would consider trying to get that dr. appointment moved up a bit. Sometimes, when I’m in this place, knowing that help is even closer then I thought, helps. Not always, but it’s something to try, and it certainly can’t hurt.

    Liked by 1 person

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