AUGUST 14 2015

‘Cause I can’t seem to find the words to describe the thoughts screaming inside myself  & if I did, could I trust myself to survive them in the DARKNESS THAT TORMENTS MY SOUL???

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I shut that side of me off because my demons don’t sleep & sometimes I’m too tired to fight,,, WHEN MY SOUL TURNS BLACK.

AUGUST 4 2015 FUCKING WIRED BABY!! FUCKING FRENZIED BRAIN

I’M OFFICIALLY IN MY OWN PRIVATE SHARK WEEK HELL! (NOT MY PERIOD, THAT. DON’T HAPPEN ANYMORE ~ I. DON’T MANUFACTURE PEOPLE ANYMORE!!) SHARK BRAIN FRENZY!! BIPOLAR BABY!! ULTIMATE CHEMICAL IMBALANCE!! MEANING MY “SHARK” IS MY OWN FUCKING BRAIN!! ELECTRIC!! HYPOMANIA TURNS TO MANIA!!
At first the ride was friendly SHIT NO! FRIENDLY = FUN!. Friendly meaning it was fun, I enjoyedit, FUCK! I RELISHED IT, WELCOMED IT! NOW IT’S OVERWHELMED ME, ENVELOPED ME,,, NOOO CONTROL!!!
I’m mean, angry, looking for any FUCKING,,, wayyy,,, to challenge anything, anyone!!

*WORLD AROUND ME*: SQEEEAK,,, ‘HAHA!’
*MY BRAIN*: WHAT THE FUCK’D YOU SAY??
*WORLD* HAHA! NOTHING! HA!

*MY ENERGY LEVEL*: WHAT TO DO?! I’M BORED!
*WORLD* HUH? YOU SAY SOMETHING? I DIDN’T HEAR ANYTHING ~
GO RIDE YOUR FUCKING GIRAFFE! (I DIDN’T SAY NOTHING)

*BRAIN* I,,, DARE,,, YOU,,,, TO,,, DO ANYTHING, THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK YOU CAN NO! THAT’S WHAT YOU SAY YOU CAN DO BITCH!!!HA•FUCKING•HA!

AND,,, THIS,,, WAS,,, FUN??? YOU BETCHA!!

I’M WIRED!! BRAIN, YOU’RE FIRED!! I. HATE. YOU!!

(can’t you behave like everybody else?!?)

NO!! I’M. YOUR. BRAIN. AND I HAVE. A MIND OF. MY.OWN!! I OWN YOU!!! I OWN US!! BITCH-E- POO! HAHAHA!!! MADNESS

I THINK NOT!! AT ITS FINEST!! DOES THIS MAKE SENSE? NOPE, NOT TO ME EITHER! I CAN NOT WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT I CAN’T EXPLAIN OR UNDERSTAND!

* *Disclaimer: all is written on my phone, no computer, so any errors are the sole responsibility of Android©®™ etc,,,, 🙂