OCTOBER 1, 2016

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS, ,,

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SEPTEMBER 15, 2016 Not sick,  just (EXHAUSTED, DRAINED,) && tired

I’m tired, tired of feeling this way, beat, exhausted,  ready to put the other foot in the ground ( maybe, not yet),

For the better part of my life 46 years. I’m mean shit I was 2 years old when I wondered why God made me live.  2 years old & wanting to die. I know what that meant: there’s no breathing, they put you deep in the dirt & you don’t ever come back, ever!  an seriously enticing , drawing thought. 

Bipolar and PB tendaces ALL. MY,. LIFE? Are you fucking kidding???? no, I’M NOT!!! {{{PLEASE -NO Pity PARTY WANTED}}} just purging  little ass & pea brain.

Suicide attempts (several almost successful.  Dammit! Since 6 years old. (Yes 6 years old I was gonna jump off my 2 story roof but my mom grabbed me. WHY?!? Multiple times later, multiple **NECKLESS SWINGS**  former’cutter’ 6 times 3½in long, down to muscle,  17 sutures on average. Cig burner times 21. All on left arm. Psyche wards don’t help. NOPE! No they don’t!

&& I’m TIRED, TIRED OF THE PHYSICAL energy. Much as I’m cleaning, pacing, sex, picking arguments, irritating as fucking  BS. Hating myself & the world that  lied  & that decived me & put me here. Weed & alcohol cleanse my FUCKED up palate. Again. Anything to not feel BUT NOT FEEL starts to make me feel a little better for awhille

I’M STILL stuck & sick times 46 GODDAMMOTHERFUKING years.

Really? Seriously? ! WTF ~ I GUESS!      *** HELP ME GET AWAY FROM ME/MYSELF ***  Of BEING here!!!

 *This is my truth & my testimment as I write it,  Dianetharp70@gmail.com   dianetharp70 

JUNE 14 2016 YEP!!!

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JUNE 10, 2016 IT’S A SLIPPERY F*CKKING SLOPE

Did you ever feel like you’re standing on a ledge wishing you’d go one way or the other, kinda debating slipping forward isn’t such a bad thing ,,, so just to be sure, you look down to be sure you’re high enough, but you’re not too high to fly,,??? *Now I got this fucking semicolon tat on my wrist, I look at it & what do I do? I have 5 pretty tats, I wanna leave a pretty mess. Im a pretty little mess,,,
Should I,,,
***GET A NEW FUCKING TATTOO! !!
shhh ~ you got a better idea? ??
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High Functioning Depression: We Can’t Overlook the Overachievers | The Mighty

http://themighty.com/2016/05/high-functioning-depression-we-cant-overlook-the-overachievers/

THURSDAY MAY 12, 2016

TODAY 46 years ago I escaped captivity from my Momma’s person.  Ummm, ,, in other words ~ it’s my birthday. Hahaha, lol.  Buttt,,, seriously ~ I’m still breathing & on up side of the dirt. *My family’s cool, we rock & love each other’s dysfunctionality

ANYWAY HERE I ARE!  (ya’ll know, even though I’m not”RIGHT” & certainty not OK) *HINT: Te ~ rarded!
   I love most ya!

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SNARCASM::: MY SPECIALTY!!!
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THIS IS THE BOOM! Birthday present from me, to me. EXCEEDED MY EXPECTATIONS (S/O to Gama, artist at Beautiful Sin Tattoos, Lancaster, PA)

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Yep, remember, you saw me here. Oh, if ya get our story right, there’s a little something in it for ya, ,,
*Otherwise I have access to duck/duct tape, a shovel & chloroform.

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See whatcha got into being my friend {did you know I’m your friend (stalker?)}

Diane {& to some ~ £0¥€ ya!}

MAY 10, 2016 BOOM! !!

Early birthday present from me ~> to me. I’ve wanted a semi•colon for along time but didn’t want the mainstream ‘cliché’ type.  This made total sense & I added the birdy to signify my freedom for finally escaping my pattern of self harm/destruction. I’m not perfect or even OK,  But I’m NOT FINISHED! !!

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MAY 4, 2016. Just imagine the surprising reaction if this commercial showed the same compassion but instead for mental illness Watch “S.E. Perry – Merck TV Commercial “Night # 14 with Shingles”” on YouTube

THAT IS ALL,,,

FEBRUARY 8 2016

ME EXPLAINING WHY I DON’T SOCIALIZE DUE TO MENTAL ILLNESS (For those that are too ______ to understand FIGURE IT OUT)

ME: UMMM, YOU KNOW I HAVE CROHN’S , SO YOU UNDERSTAND SOMETIMES I NEED TO FIND A BATHROOM QUICK & IF I’M OUT & ABOUT I GET ANXIOUS
*FRIEND: DUDE, THAT’S COOL, MAYBE NEXT TIME ~

ME: OMG, I REALLY WANNA HANG, BUT MY R ARTHRITIS IS BAD, I CAN’T GET OUTTA BED. I REALLY HURT!
*FRIEND: FUCK! I’M SORRY, THAT SUX! REALLY, WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO. I KNOW THAT’S PAINFUL,,,

ME: I REALLY WANNA HANG BUT,,, I HAVE MY KIDS THIS WEEKEND.
*FRIEND: OOOH FUCK, YOU CAN’T GET A SITTER? HEY CHICKA, THAT HAPPENED TO ME LAST WEEK. MAYBE NEXT WEEK, I’LL CALL YA; WE GOTTA GET TOGETHER SOOOOOON!!

ME: I REALLY WANNA DO THIS WEEKEND BUT MY MEDS ARE FUCKIN UP MY BELLY, CAN’T DRINK, I’M BROKE. I REALLY HATE BEING IN CROWDS (BUT ONCE I GOT A COUPLE IN ME I’M COOL ÁS FUCK!) LIFE OF THE PARTY!!!! I’M I’M I’M (MAKING EXCUSES), I CAN’T COME OUT TONIGHT
*(?) FRIEND: OK, THAT’S COOL. WHATEVER,,,
**NEVER HEAR FROM THAT/ THOSE“FRIEND(S)” AGAIN****
FUCK Y’ALLimage

!!!

JANUARY 15 2016

BEWARE THE WORDS WE SAY TO OUR CHILDREN. THESE WORDS HAVE INCREDIBLE CONSEQUENCES. LEAVING LIFELONG & IRREPARABLE SCARS,,,

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